WEEK 11
I don't know what to do anymore...
These last few weeks have been terrible.
At this point it's hard to get out of bed in the morning.
I was sure I could do it, I thought I was strong, but I'm not.
It is clear to me now...
I am a weak, weak woman.
How did I ever think I could do it?
Here I am. Surrounded by people but still alone.
I have been alone most of my life, I thought I was OK. But this loneliness is deeper, is crushing me.
The only one who cares for me is the one I shouldn't get close to.
I wish I were able to truly trust Junior, I wish I were able to believe in him.
I never wanted this to happen, but here I am.
My future depends on it. My future depends on him.
Without him there is no way I can secure a place on the starship.
Without him I will have to go back home.
I will have to go back home having failed following orders...
Life is so cruel.
We're always tested, everything we say and everything we do. If it's not some alien clones, it's our family, our comrades. Always ready to judge, always ready to turn their back on us. The first time you show them your weakness it's all over.
I always hid my weakness, nobody could get in.
And here I am. Offering my greatest weakness to my biggest enemy.
I hope I am wrong about him.
I hope I can trust him.
Irina
